What Alice doesn't know won't hurt her
by jaspersgrl45
Summary: What happens if Jasper and Emmett went to a bar and made a bet, who could make the girls sitting next to them fall in love with them first? What happens when Jasper realizes that the girl he's trying to seduce is Alice? Alice has no memory of this.
1. Alice?

**Disclaimer: Me- I OWN YOU JASPER HALE!!!**

** Jasper- No you don't Stephenie does **

** Me- I OWN YOU **

** Jasper- OK I'll call Stef then, (dials number) **

** Me- (panicing) umm.. thats OK you don't have to do that (grabs phone and closes it) **

** Jasper- OK who owns twilight and me? **

** Me- I...Stephanie (frowns) **

** Jasper-Vey good. **

Hey Y'all This is my first fanfic.

Jasper makes a bet with Emmet that he could make the girl sitting next to him fall in love with him. Only to find out it's Alice DUN DUN DUN

I hope you like it.

OK Here we GOOOOOO!!!

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**JPOV**

Just another day in the Cullen household, Alice and Bella are out searching for a new car for Bella, or rather, Alice kidnapped Bella to go steal a car. Emmett is playing Rock Band on the Wii. Emmett is singing and he sounds like a dying horse. Edward is teaching Renesmee how to play Bella's Lullaby on the Piano,(Bella's vampire birthday is coming up soon and Renesmee wants to play that song for Bella). But she has to cut her lesson short because she has to go out with that mangy mutt Jacob. Rosalie,Carlisle and Esme are outside on the field playing baseball they need one more player.

"Hey Eddy, What time is it?" I asked. A snarl ripped in his chest.

"You know I hate it when you call me that. Renesmee, go get ready for your date."

"But Daddy, I have an hour."

"Renesmee, Now, please things are about to get ugly between your uncle Jasper and me." He said looking at her then looking at me.

"Oh come on Edward, I'm sorry, I was just asking what time it is."

"Jasper," he hissed "Lets take it outside for the safety and security of the house and those around us."

"Ok bro." I said

Just as We walked out the door my watch beeped.

"Well it's time for me and Emmet to go hit the casino."

"You ready Emmett," I yelled, "Time to go buddy!"

"You haven't heard the rest of me, You understand." Edward hissed

"Yes, Sir" I said in my Military southern voice.

Emmett walked out. We walked to the Jeep.

"Hey Jazz." Emmett said

"What?" I said

"You want to go to the bar and make bets instead of the casino?" He asked

"Sure, which bar?" I asked

"Umm... How about that new one, Full moon."

"Sure, sounds cool."

We pulled into the parking lot of then club.

"O MY GOD." I said amazed

"WOW." Emmett said like a little human kid in a candy store, I looked at his eyes there was a little sparkle. We walked in and sat down at the bar, we made a bet on who could get the two girls sitting next to us fall in love with one of us first. I made the first move.

"Hello ladies," I said in my irresistible (so Alice says) southern accent, to the petite dark haired girl sitting next to me.

"Hello," She said turning around. It was too dark to tell but she kind of looked like Alice.

"May I ask you your name ma'am?" again with the southern accent

"Alice Cullen, May I ask you yours?" She looked drunk, looks like Jaspers gettin' lucky tonight.

"Jasper Hale, May I ask what a pretty lady like you is doin' out so late,Wheres your boyfriend?"

"My husband is out with my brother."

"Oh, well while he's away, you wana come over to my place?" I looked over at Emmett he was getting slapped and cussed out by Rosalie who saw him trying to hit on the girl sitting next to him.

"Sure." Alice said

"Alright Emmett I win the bet,Rosalie,Alice,Emmett,Lets roll."

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Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt ya think? good huh yah i know your clapping and crying cuz it was soo good

pleeeeaz comment. see that big white button down there click on it ya never know whats gonna happien

- Maisy :P


	2. Jasper?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight  
**

Hey Y'all This is my first fanfic.

Alice still doesn't remember her night at the bar, Jasper pisses off Emmet and Edward. And Renesmee gets confused.

I hope you like it.

OK Here we GOOOOOO!!!

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**APOV  
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All I know is, I was flirting with this guy, and I can't remember his name. And, I was at the bar, and then I wasn't. Thats it.

"Good morning Alice," said Jasper, I had a HUMUNGO headache, I'm guessing it was a hangover. "How do you feel today?"

"I feel like hell." I replied in a tired human groggy voice.

He looked at me with deep concentration and then I felt fine.

"You know what, I'm gong for a jog to Alaska and go hunting with Sarah Palin, I'm in the mood for some caribou." I said.

**JPOV **

Something told me to tell Alice what happened at the bar last night, but something else told me to keep quiet. Emmet told me to do both. God Emmett is an IDIOT!!!! Oh look here comes Eddy, damn it he just heard me. Damn his freaking mind reading powers. Well all I can do is shut up and stop thinking about something important and singing the mexican hat dance song, he hates that song. he he he

"Jasper, You Are Singing That Stupid Mexican Hat Song. I hate that song."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know." I said innocently

"Dammit Jasper I don't like to swear in front of Renesmee, but you have pushed be past my limit,Renesme, plug your ears."

"Whoa now Edward." I said, I used my kick-ass power and changed his emotions to be gay and fall in love with Emmett.

"Emmett, did I mention that your eyes look good today, I just get lost in those puppies." He said admiringly

"Ummm... Thank you" Emmett said confused, I started laughing mentally. Edward turned around and said, "Are you laughing at me?" He said.

"No Edward, I'm laughing with you." I said.

"Jasper?,Change Edward back please." Emmett said, I looked over and Edward was laying on Emmett. I laughed out loud this time.

"OK," I said still laughing

"Thank you Jazz." said Emmett, relieved.

Renesmee just looked scared and didn't come out form behind my leg. She wouldn't even look at her father.

"Great, look what you did to my daughter, Jasper."

"Daddy, do you love uncle Emmett more than you love Momma?" Renesmee asked innocently

"No, sweetie, I love your momma more than uncle Emmett." Edward said glad that Nessie was talking to him again.

"Alrightie, Who's up for a game of Rock Band, on the Wii?" Asked Emmett


	3. RenesmeeEmmett showdown

**Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight or this awesome Idea My freind did. **

Hey yall OK this awesome Idea came while Me and My friend Sammi Normand were talking about My story and that is how this Idea came to be.

Hope yall like it.

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**RNPOV **

Uncle Emmett and Daddy are acting really weird; I'm scared. Why is my father LAYING on uncle Emmett? I think he's got problems. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, Jake I love you. Why can't you be with me right now? I need help. What is uncle Emmett talking to uncle Jasper about changing Daddy back. Oh I get it, uncle Jazzy's got the power to change peoples feelings, ahhhh gotcha. all right. But I'm still scared.

"Daddy," I asked in my little four year old voice. "Do you love uncle Emmett more than you love Momma?" I did my puppy dog eyes that Jake had taught me to get the truth.

"No,sweetie, I love Momma MORE than I love uncle Emmett." He replied kneeling as he spoke.

"Anyone up for Wii Sports?" uncle Emmett asked

"I'll play against you in tennis." I said Confidently

"Your on youngster." uncle Emmett said. I rolled my eyes at him. I hate it when people call me youngster.

**EMPOV**

The youngster challenged me to a game of tennis. I accepted because no one could beat the EMINATOR!!!!!!

"Emmett, seriously," Edward said. "The Eminator." Crap he heard that. Damn mind reading powers. I went upstairs to get on my pretty pink tutu and my princess sweatband set. (they are all pink.) When I walked downstairs everyone was there: Edward,Jasper,Rose,Alice,Bella, and Nessie. And they were all laughing at me.

"Whats so funny?" I asked

"The Eminator is a Ballerina princess." said Edward "And you called ME gay."

"Yeah so, when I beat Nessie, You wont be laughing." I said trying to defend myself. It obviously wasn't helping.

"Oh, she wont beat you," said Bella. "She'll kick your ass."

The game began, and we were playing best of five. Nessie was in the lead. I kept hitting it the wrong way. Which way do you hit the ball. I lost at Wii sports. ALL of the sports. so I challenged the little youngster to an arm wrestling match. No one had beat me in arm wrestling before.

**RNPOV**

I beat Emmett at all of the Wii sports and we're doing an arm wrestling contest now. Mom was right I didn't just beat uncle Emmett at Wii sports I kicked his ass.

Arm wrestling was a little bit harder though. But I still won. Then came the hunting contest the swimming contest the who could annoy Daddy first contest. I won them all . It's official. I Renesmee Carlie Cullen is Better than uncle Emmett.

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So what u think I know its a bit short, but I thought It was funny writing it. push the big white button with the green stuff on it


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